


Sexual Healing

by Iamsuperconfused



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Talks about her traumas, Dansen Fic Challenge, Dansen Thirst Squad, F/F, Light Dom/sub, Masturbation, Mentions of Maggie Sawyer, Religious Guilt, Sex Talk, sexual healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21514057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsuperconfused/pseuds/Iamsuperconfused
Summary: Kelly notices that Alex has some issues after an evening of lovemaking, issues specifically related to sex. When she brings it up to Alex. It takes the couple down a conversation about her past experiences and her feelings, holds up and hidden desires.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen
Comments: 16
Kudos: 115





	Sexual Healing

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Tumblr User [Dansen-in-the-rain](https://dansen-in-the-rain.tumblr.com/) for beta reading a large part of this.

Kelly lays in bed, a soft frown on her face as she stares at the ceiling. She’s wrapped comfortably inside of Alex’s high thread count blanket and can’t help but feel the fabric caressing her legs and feet, re-igniting the fire that just blazed but a moment ago. Rain drums against the windows, the wind whistle between the branches of the nearby tree and it comes in sharp focus when the shower stop running. 

Alex returns from the bathroom, a few moments later, wearing only her camo shirt. Her hair still dry. She crawls onto the bed, kissing Kelly’s cheek softly on her way to the pillows. She drops down, exhaling in comfort. It makes the bed rattle a little bit, once more. 

The movement of the bed brings Kelly back to just twenty minutes ago when they were still in the throes of lovemaking. The thought brings a thin smile to Kelly’s lips and she slowly crawls her away to Alex’s side, snuggling up to her. Where she expects to find the leftover warmth of the shower, she feels a deep cold still clinging to Alex’s skin. A deep, deep sadness grabs onto her heart. “Alex…” 

Alex is all smiles, her eyes glistening with amusement and joy still, her arms wrap around Kelly, welcoming and soft. “Yes?” 

“Did you just pretend to have fun earlier?” There’s a little tremor in her voice, it’s hard to distinguish if it’s annoyance or sadness. 

“I had fun, I just.” Alex shakes her head, blushing, embarrassed,  _ caught _ . “It’s not easy for me to get to a point where I can have ...a peak, like the ones you have anyway.” She giggles good-naturedly, putting her hands on Kelly’s waist. 

“Well it certainly doesn’t help if you take a cold shower!” Kelly teases back, her smile returning slowly. “Am I desirable to you?” 

“I wouldn’t need a cold shower if you weren’t.” Alex presses her forehead against Kelly’s. “I promise you, I find you hot. It’s one of the easiest things I’ve ever promised.”

Kelly laughs cutely, poking her tongue out a Alex, teasing. “Are you too tired to talk?” she asks, sitting up in bed, leaning on her arm. 

“No, I’m not. It’s still pretty early.” Alex’s skin is warm again, as she blushes a deeper shade of red. 

“Why are you blushing so hard?” Kelly asks, whispering, hiding her smile with the pillow, not wanting Alex to think she’s mocking. 

Alex’s eyes widen and she begins clearing her throat, nervously and fiddling with her shirt too. “I got caught doing something dumb and I’m embarassed to talk about it. And it’s sex, it’s not my area of expertise, so I’m not comfortable talking about it much.”

“You can talk to me about this, right now, or tomorrow. Or next month. You can tell me absolutely everything, you can talk until it’s like an everyday conversation to you. I won’t judge you for anything.” Kelly says, watching Alex’s reaction carefully. 

“That’s kind of it, though. I can’t. I never really talked about it.” Alex takes a deep breath, she lays on her back fully now, staring up. “It’s just that it feels like a whole lot of it is tangled with what I thought it would be and what I hope it will be. With...shame for what I know is under the tangled mess. Also that what I’m hung up on isn’t entirely about you.” 

“Alex, I’ve had lovers before you too, it’s hard not to draw comparisons when a similar situation comes up.” Kelly just sits up in the bed, crossing her legs, caressing Alex’s leg. “We both were engaged before this. We both had someone meaningful to us.” 

“It’s hard when I’m in the moment and you’re making those noises and I feel your body get wired up for your …” She inhales deeply.

“Orgasm” Kelly supplies, squeezing Alex’s leg. 

“Orgasm” Alex’s cheek turn redder. “It turns me on too, but when I get close… my mind gets caught in a thousand of little pieces of thoughts and feelings I should and shouldn’t have. It’s been getting really bad lately.” her eyes water a bit. 

“Talk to me about those little thoughts and feelings.” Kelly moves her hand up and closer, Alex stops her from going past a certain point. She’s about to retract her hand completely, but Alex puts it back where it was.

“Just, not higher than that.” When Kelly acquiesce, Alex clears her throat again. “Sometimes it’s because I really, really like doing and thinking about specific things. Things done to me. That I feel shame for. Other times it’s because I start having these words in my head for you that I don’t want and I feel guilty. Sometimes it’s about how it’s not okay before marriage, you know? And that’s … when it gets really bad.” 

Kelly smiles and nods. “I didn’t think you were the kind of person to care much about religious practices. We can take that into consideration from now on.” 

Alex shakes her head vigorously. “No, it’s… not really about that. I don’t really believe, I’m kind of in a state of constant doubt about that.” A noncommittal shrug follows. “But it’s… kind of what society expects in a way, or rather a thing that was drilled into our heads, or my head anyway. Don’t fuck until it’s officially offical and serious.” 

“Why does that get really bad?” Kelly lowers herself and kiss Alex on the lips, the kiss is returned with a soft touch to her cheek. 

“Because then my mind goes to… Maggie.” Alex looks away from Kelly, only to have her hand make her look her way, only to find love and a smile. “About how sex was easier with her toward the end, because we were getting close to our wedding, so it was getting more okay, so things flowed easier. And it spiral from there, guilt and shame. Because that’s not what I want in my head when I’m with you.”

“I love you Alex.” Kelly says with a warm voice, she leans forward and kiss her lips again. “I don’t know that a wedding is going to happen soon. But If it helps, I want us to be serious together, this isn’t some kind of fling or whirlwind love story that’ll peter out in a year.” 

“That actually might help that part.” Alex smiles and wipes quickly at her eyes. “I want sex to be easier with you, Kelly. Is this part of healing? Is sexual healing a thing?” 

“I heard something about some kind of sexual healing therapy. But I don’t know if it was serious or just some raunchy self-help blog.” They both laugh at Kelly’s words. “Can I ask something about when you were with your ex?” 

“Sure.” Alex covers her face with both hands. “Just go ahead and rip the bandage off.” 

“Was sex this much of an issue with her too?” Kelly asks, running her hand up and down her leg still. 

“Yes and no. At the start, it was pretty much all we did.” Alex takes a few breath. “There might be some triggering stories in there for you.” 

Kelly’s eyes widen. “Was your bedroom a war zone?” 

Alex laughs. “No, but I know exactly when sex became complicated and it’s that part that might be triggering.” 

“Tell me, I’m in the right place at the moment.” Kelly whispers. 

“I got kidnapped by some really, really crazy dude. I got locked in a cell that was filling with water.” Alex shivers. “I had a lot of shit go through my mind while I was captive and since then it’s been more complicated to … have orgasms.”

“But no problems with showers?” Kelly questions, curious.

“For the first week, it was pretty damn bad. It got better over time though.” Alex explains with a smile.

“Physical memories can be powerful.” Kelly speaks softly.”Could it be maybe linked to your breathing?” Kelly asks gently. 

Alex takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, considering the suggestion seriously. “I think maybe that would make sense.” 

  
“I imagine you were gasping for air and breathing loud and maybe the sound and the muscle memory brings a part of this back?” Kelly suggests further.

“I’d like to change the topic a little bit for now.” Alex’s eyes are glassy and damp. “Next sexy question, please?” 

“Anything else you want to share with me?” Kelly smiles, moving on as requested.

“It’s easier when you ask specific questions.” Alex follows the admission with an embarrassed laugh. 

“You said you had words for me in your head that you didn’t like, didn’t want.” Kelly smiles a bit. “I want to know those words.” 

Alex grunts in exaggerated agony and hides her face under the pillow, remaining quiet. 

Kelly lies down next to her and manages to struggles her head under it, to face Alex while they’re rather awkwardly close. “Come on Alex! Tell me!” 

“They’re not respectful!” Alex tries to turn away but Kelly restrains her in her arm. 

“I know!” Several kisses to Alex’s face follows “You already call me all kinds of sweet things! If they were more sweet things you’d be telling them out loud.” Another rapid fire set of kisses follows. “If you make me start guessing, you might regret it.”

Alex sticks her tongue out and refuses to speak.

“Alright! I warned you.” Kelly brings her lips near Alex’s ear and whispers. “Am I  _ your _ slut? Or whore maybe? you seem like you’d pay a working lady her due. Or is it more of a combination of things?” Alex squirms and groans, but remains quiet. “Or is it something even dirtier? Something about my skin color maybe?” 

“NO!” Alex sits up and looks terrified for a moment, until she sees the dirty smile and disheveled hair right in Kelly’s face. “No. I don’t think that, not the things about you being black, I don’t.” 

Kelly recaptures Alex in her arms and brings her down in her arms, resting on the pillow.. “Alex, taboo words and ideas are exciting and tantalizing. It can be a catalyst to let yourself go further. At least in the context of sex.” she kisses her cheek. “And I wasn’t thinking about  _ that _ word either.”

“I don’t think of you like that for real, I…” Alex fans herself with her hand. 

  
“Alex, context is everything. If you’d call me those names in a serious conversation, I’d break up with you.” Kelly chuckles. “In bed? While you’re pulling my hair, railing me and biting my neck? Calling me honeybuns might not work, you know? They’re words people associate with sex and dirty things, of course our minds would go there. I personally don’t mind it, though I’m guessing some nights...Honeybuns might work better.” 

Alex laughs out loud. “I think I see your point.” 

Kelly kisses Alex’s neck. “You said you were ashamed of what you know is under the tangled mess. Is that something you can talk about?” 

Alex closes her eyes. “It’s about some preferences I have.” She doesn’t look at Kelly. “I really like taking care of people, and I think it shows in bed too.” 

“It does. You do take good care of me..” she pokes at Alex’s ribs. “Sometimes though, I could go for round two and three.” 

“I’m sorry.” Alex blushes again. “After a while it gets too much for me and since I can’t always reach my own…” a deep sigh as she tries to familiarize with the word “Orgasm, I can turn off really quick.” 

“So, you’re telling me that you’d like to be in charge, dominant? Top?” Kelly tries to prompt Alex into speaking more. 

“No, no actually it’s the opposite. No one ever really takes care of me. I feel like I’d want to be a demanding, bratty sub and bottom.” Alex hides her face under the pillow again. 

“Is that all?” Kelly smiles.

Alex visibly shakes. “No.” the response is muffled by the pillow.

“What else?” Kelly asks, interest showing, tugging on the pillow, but Alex fight to keep it there. 

“Look, I think that’s enough sexual healing for one night. Session over.” Alex fans herself, after Kelly take the pillow off of her face again. 

“Alright, no problem. Do you want me to get you something to drink? You look over-heated.” Kelly grins, kissing her cheek. 

“I’ll grab myself somet--” Alex sits up, as if she’s about to leave the bed, but Kelly pushes her back down on the bed.

“What do you want?” Kelly’s hand gently brush at the shorter part of Alex’s hair.

“My bottle of water and the cheese I cut up earlier when we planned to watch netflix.” Alex admits, a faint blush returning to her cheek. 

Kelly slowly scoots away and gets off the bed, still naked, to go in the kitchen, to gather the water bottle and the small plate of cheese. She returns with a glass for herself, which she set aside on her side of the bed. Then, she keeps the plate away from Alex’s reaching hand, tapping on them lightly. Even pushing Alex back down again when she tries to reach with more gusto. “Stay down, Alex.” 

Alex pouts for a moment, arms crossed over her chest as she watches Kelly pick a piece of cheese from the plate and feed it to her. “I can feed myself Kelly…” but her lips part to accept it, kissing the giving fingers. 

“I know.” Kelly picks another piece of cheese, then lays right beside her. “I’m just taking care of you.” 

Alex let out a shaky breath. “It wasn’t a criticism of you.” 

Kelly leans in closer. “I know.” she brings the piece of cheese to Alex’s lips again. 

Alex is tearing up and she quickly wipe at the corner of her eyes. “Kelly?” 

“Yes?” Kelly takes a piece of cheese for herself. 

“It’s okay for tonight, but getting fed like this is… not easy on my ego.” Alex clears her throat. 

“Understood.” Kelly leans forward and kiss her cheek. “Now open up.” 

Alex stick her tongue out. “Make me.” 

“Oh I’ll make you!” Kelly wiggles her fingers, descending upon Alex with intents to tickles. 

Laughter fills the apartment once more. 

  
  


* * *

**_The Very Next Day_ **

* * *

Alex doesn’t respond to her text during lunch. Not unusual for the director of a secret agency, but some doubt gnaws at the back of Kelly’s mind. She pushes back against the idea twice, but as the clock ticks past two in the afternoon, she gives up. She sends a quick text to Kara. 

> **_You:_ ** _ Do you know if your sister is busy at the moment?  _
> 
> **_Kara:_ ** _ No, she left Brainy in charge of the D.E.O. for the afternoon. She’s taking half a day off. Even got doctor’s approval on it.  _
> 
> **_You:_ ** _ did she get hurt? _
> 
> **_Kara:_ ** _ No no no. She’s safe. I think she needed a day off and the D.E.O. doc agreed.  _
> 
> **_You:_ ** _ Thank you, I feel better.  _
> 
> **_Kara:_ ** _ Is she not answering your text? I can go bully her if you need me to! _
> 
> **_You:_ ** _ Oh please don’t  _
> 
> **_Kara:_ ** _ Alright! Let me know if I can help!  _

Kelly sets down her phone and writes an e-mail to her direct superior. Ten minutes later, the answer pops up in the corner of her computer screen. Approving her request for an early leave today. She gathers the work she still has to do into one simple USB key and takes her leave from the office.

The drive home is slower than she anticipated it, due to some kind of traffic jam two blocks down from where Kelly drives. She finds parking just a block down from where Alex lives and walks down the streets, she takes her time, unsure where the sudden pit in her stomach comes from. “Relax, Olsen, take a deep breath. Nothing’s happening.” she mumbles under her breath, attempting to soothe her worries. 

She climbs up the stairs, as quietly as she can, though she can’t justify the sneakiness to herself, even as she reaches Alex’s floor. Kelly pulls the key out from her pocket and forces herself to unlock and open the door without listening before, though she manages to do so quietly enough not to draw Alex’s attention.    
  
The apartment is dimly lit, the scent of incense and scented candles float heavily, the heat is turned up ever so slightly from its usual level. All of the windows are covered either by their curtains, some by blankets, added to block further light. Music plays, very low volume, but the bass and drums are audible from the lobby. Kelly smiles a little to herself, her worst fears allayed easily. 

Kelly keeps herself from gasping when she sees it. Alex is laid back on the bed, a pile of pillows, more pillows than she owned last night, by Kelly’s own estimate. She’s completely naked, with one leg dangling off of the bed and the other held by Alex, forcing herself to keep her legs as wide apart as she could. Her eyes are covered by a sleeping mask and she’s mumbling a countdown, breathing on specific numbers each time she repeat the cycle. 

Alex left hand is rubbing slow, steady circles over her damp, slick nethers and her hips roll softly to meet the touch. Every time the breathing cycle start over, her hand stops moving, until her hips still themselves completely. 

As another of Alex’s ‘cycle’ begins, Kelly looks away,  _ ‘I really shouldn’t be looking at this’  _ her thoughts screams. She takes one step back and Alex makes a soft whimpering sound. She has to bite her lip not to let the same kind of sound out. 

“Kelly…” As her name falls from Alex’s lips, straining with desire, with pleasure. Kelly can’t hold on to the words slipping past her own lips. 

“Alex I’m here…” She didn’t mean for the words to sound like  _ that  _ but the sight before her is too much, perfect in more ways that she can count. 

A deep shade of red rise on Alex’s cheeks and her breathing stops following the pattern she’s been working on since before Kelly even entered the building. Her body tense, still like a statue. Her hand freezes and her hips slam back down into the bed, hard.. 

Kelly wracks her brain, trying to find the right words, the right tone to not entirely ruin the moment for Alex. “What do you need from me Alex?” 

Alex’s body relaxes slightly, but her hands and hips remain stilled. She goes quiet for a time, controlling her breathing again. “I need you with me.” she whispers, the hand that holds her leg seem to be shaking from the continuous strain.

Kelly smiles and quietly walks up to the bed, shedding her shoes, her coat and her phone. She sit at Alex’s side. “I’m here.” 

The hand holding her leg spread apart gently seek Kelly’s hand, which she guides to the legs. “Keep me open.” she whispers.

“Of course.” the words are whispers, dancing between them. Kelly holds the leg, keeping it where it was. “Can you go wider for me?” the words escape her and elicit a deep moan from Alex. 

The very question elicit an erratic, chaotic moan in Alex from which Kelly can only make out one word: “Yes.”

  
  


Kelly pulls on the leg, until Alex seems to get uncomfortable from the strain, adjusting the position for a mix of comfort and strain, then she traps the leg with her own. Kelly gently rubs circles high up Alex’s inner thigh, trying to match her girlfriend’s gentle pace from earlier. “There, perfect.”

That’s when Alex starts to move her fingers again, simply matching her own touches to Kelly’s gentle guidance. “Kelly...” her freed right hand fiddles with the pillowcase slowly. 

“Follow my fingers, don’t go faster than me..” Kelly whispers “Keep breathing like you were, Alex, you’re doing so good.” her fingers accelerate their little circling on Alex’s thigh, only a little. A test to see Alex’s response.

“Kelly.” her name caught in Alex’s throat she whines her name, stretching it out until it’s barely more than a sound. Her free hand grips erratically at pillows and covers. 

Kelly frees one of her hands to catch the Alex’s errant han. With a firm grip and a whispered command, she makes Alex put it under her head. “Keep it there.” 

Alex immediately start playing with her own hair. “Yes, Kelly.” 

“Good, you’re doing so good.” Kelly says, tender and gentle, her voice full of desire and joy. Her fingers move a little higher on Alex’s inner thigh, moves a little faster. The reaction is almost immediate.

Alex’s hips buck a few times and her goes from soft sigh to loud, high pitched moans of intense pleasure under a few mere seconds, a few touches. “Kelly, can I?” 

“You don’t need my permission.” Kelly watches and whispers, her gaze locked to the throes of her lover’s pleasure.

“Yes!  _ Please _ .” Alex’s breathing slowly break away from the peaceful cycle she’s been in for a while now. 

Kelly’s eyes widen in understanding when Alex practically begs her permission. She accelerate the pace of the fingers guiding Alex’s. “You can, I give you permission. It’s okay.” she whispers, reassuring, calm and soft. 

It’s like a lightning bolt that strikes Alex. A growl grows in her throat and the next instant, it’s a short shout, her body convulse for three seconds. She crashes back into the bed. Almost limp, but for the after shock of her orgasm.

“Alex, that looked so intense.” Kelly gently teases Alex, pulling her girlfriend closer in her arms. 

“Permission really helped.” Alex turns on her side and buries her face into Kelly’s stomach. “Nap?” 

“I think you might need water before.” Kelly suggests kindly, trying to see if Alex’s bottle is nearby. 

Alex nods and collapse back on her back, while Kelly retrieve the bottle from the base of the bed. 

When Kelly comes back, Alex is laughing into the pillow. “Had fun, Alex?” 

“I went to the doc at the D.E.O. today and got a day off out of it. I figured I’d try some of that sexual healing.” Alex smiles. “I wasn’t really trying to reach anything, I just wanted to be able to control my breathing while I was this excited. It… was harder than I thought at first.” 

“How long were you at it?” Kelly asks, a smile on her lips.

“Hmm, it took me about half an hour to set everything up like I wanted it? So …” Alex looks at the clock at her bedside and her groans, blushing,  _ caught _ again “Oh god, like two hours.” 

Kelly lie down next to her. “Not bad for someone who stopped the ‘healing’ session from last night under ten minute.” 

“The treatment is more fun than the appointment.” Alex playfully shoves Kelly, and again, laughter fill the apartment.


End file.
